Tuesday, March 31, 2009

She'll Graduate Magna Cum Sue

This Sue is from an rpg about an Academy for vampires. I've seen many vampire schools but I will never get the idea behind it. I guess they can spend time learning practical things like math and science but when you've seen as many vampires in schools (or just any rpg set in a school) as I have, it's clear you can't teach them anything. They are all super smart and skilled in everything BEFORE they even enter the school.

Name-Lyric Blossom Angel (Oh Hell. Hell no. No way. Way. She has SUCH a Mary Sue name and we just started.)

Age-16 (You know what? She's a vampire who looks 16 and actually is 16. If she's physically aging but will live forever, she's gonna spend most of her existence looking scary!)
Power-Lyric can controle fire in a stunging way.She still has a little problem useing it but other than that she is very good. (Her stunging abilities are not great but still great but her waffling skills will astound you!)

Weapon:Bow and Arrow (I wish this bio had included info on why she needs these weapons and what she uses them for. Her background history isn't specific on this fact. I guess she just needs something else to be awesome at and this rounds out her many gifts.)

Bio-Lyric was always alone as a child she was born as a pure blood vampire.At times she hates being a vampire cause everyone dosent like her not even her own vampire parents. (Her parents don't even like her because she's a vampire?) At the age of 10 she fanily left to go live on her own and she has been doing great.Well then she found cross Academy and told the Cair man she was a vampire he was very pleased to have her here.He gave her little pills that go in water and gives the taste of blood but she wish it was real blood. She moved into her drom room and has live there for 6 years. (It's so sweet that despite all her tragedies, this vampire is able to land on her feet. She narrowly avoided being a trailer trash vampire.)

Personality-Lyric is a loner and dosent talk much.She not shy she just dosent always like to deal with people she rather be alone but when it comes to a fight she is all in it and wont back down till she wins. (If she speaks as well as she communicates here, no wonder she chooses not to. Perhaps she gets into fights because so many people ask her what stunging is.) She can be bossy at times. (But she doesn't talk much???? How can she be bossy and shy all at once????? DOES NOT COMPUTE!) During class she awlays stands by the window looking at the moon. (I have a feeling that at this school, most of the students are depressed and like to stare out the window.) When she is in a serious mood you better back off or she will snap at you if you do somthing wrong. (But she's shy. Except for the times she's bossy or in a bad mood.)

Looks- (See the scared, anime child with the submissive pose and runny mascara.)
Blood type-pure blood. (Did she mention that?)

Addition to the Unfortunate Typo Files: This guy was afraid of how people would view his rpg about different ethnic gangs fighting over a city:

"To all those who called me "Raciest": You forget that I am a fan of JAPANESE CARTOONS and LISTEN TO THE BLUES."


PM said...

It is STUNGING how anyone could call him "raciest", since he WATCHES JAPANESE CARTOONS and listens to THE BLUES!!! There's nothing racy at all about those things, and I'm STUNGED that people could think otherwise!!!

Cadence said...

Me and my friends chatting about this in the chatroom:

Exegesis: An actual school for vampires?? As in, they give vampire lessons?

Cadence: I have no idea what they teach there. The rpg wasn't specific on that poin.

Freaklin Gout: And when vamp school breaks for the summer, there's a camp they can go to.

Cadence: Haw! Yeah!

Freaklin Gout: You know, guys, I don't brag about this, but I can controle fire in a stunging way.

Exegesis: They probably teach different lessons based on what kind of vampire they want to grow up to be. There's seduction and dark mysteriousness lessons for the traditionalists, bucked teeth and other uglinesses for the Nosferatu wannabes, sparklypoo lessons for the Twilight vampires, and emo lessons for them all.

Cadence: What do you think she's trying to say when she said stunging? Stinging? Stunning? Fire doesn't do those things, does it?

Freaklin Gout: I was trying to figure that out myself. I thought it was stinging.

Freaklin Gout: But that doesn't really make sense.

Freaklin Gout: Or dosent, as the case may be.

Exegesis: I figured she meant "stunning," as in "you'd be stunned at well she can control fire."

Freaklin Gout: You mean controle.

Freaklin Gout: The picture you posted is creepy, too. Little girl top, big moo cow bottom.

Exegesis: Ah, yes. My bad. :o)

Exegesis: Part little girl, part cow, all anime slut.

Cadence: She isn't hot at all?

Exegesis: No.