Tuesday, March 10, 2009

That's My Name, Don't Take a Crap On It

I've only shown you a few scifi rpgs/bios so I dredged up another. This bio comes from an interesting forum where random rpgs are set up all the time. One person will start a thread with the scenario of the rpg and a bio form. Others who want to be a part of that rpg will reply with a bio and then when enough characters are available, the role playing game will start spontaneously. It's kind of cool. If you can keep it straight, you can be involved in several rpgs all on one site and each rpg will (ideally) come to a logical conclusion. When it's over, you just search out a new rpg. No big deal.

In this rpg, aliens came to Earth and accidentally made the human race sick. They try to help a small group of humans by giving them an extra circulatory system. This new race is called "Hemophoric" and their blood helped cure the human race but now some humans are addicted to these Hemophorics. These special humans are trotted around like whores... unless, of course, you are a Mary Sue who is wise, strong and just more awesome than someone awesome!

Name: Cadence Strong
Age: 16
Race/Species: Hemophoric
Side: anti-Hemophorin
Appearance: She has wavy red hair that ends just below her shoulders and light brown/golden-y eyes. (Golden-y eyes? No flecks? I feel cheated.) She usually wears autumn colors (yellow, orange, or red)(Great colors to where when one is hiding!) and sweatshirts/long-sleeved t-shirts or jeans (wears extra to cover up her second circulatory system, which, like a regular person can see their veins, people can see). Average height and weight, and because she’s athletic she’s strong and fit. Very friendly looking. (She's a little Kawaii: spazzy and childish. She's not at all effected by her circumstances because she barely understands them.)

Personality: Outgoing and laid-back, she’s quite the opposite of her best friend, Amelia. She doesn’t care what people think of her, much to Amelia’s dismay. She can keep a secret very well (more about that later) and is very ambitious. She has the same desire to prove herself as Amelia does, but for an entirely different reason. Hides behind a mask of joviality, is actually angry and disgusted with herself. (Oh! She is emo Kawaii. That's hard to pull off.)

Biography: Her parents were killed because they both had the extra circulatory system (they both dealt in the market for awhile, but wanted out because they didn’t want to get their daughter involved in it, too; no one knows what happened to their bodies – and NO, I’m not planning on having them show up surprisingly and say "Oh, no, we weren’t really killed" so don’t worry, they really are dead). (This doesn't get her out of being a Mary Sue. I'll deduct half a point.) She went to the same orphanage as Amelia and both were adopted by families in the same town. Her adoptive parents don’t know about her second circulatory system because she’s learned to hide it so well, but she’s always trying to prove that she isn’t like the rest of the hemophorics. She wants to prove that she can overcome the general prejudice of them. (I'm already prejudiced about the way she is. She's lively, smart, bouncy, athletic, friendly and drop dead gorgeous. But that's just a Mary Sue. I hate to point out that overcoming a prejudice about being a hemophoric means telling everyone what she is. Oops!)

Powers: Slight enhanced senses, or whatever the hemophorics can do. (The author didn't even pay attention to the premise of the story? That's a very bad sign.) Perhaps each should be particularly adept in only one certain area; for example, one hemophoric has a very sharp sense of smell. In that case, her special sense would be hearing. (Oh... now we are rewriting the premise to suit ourselves?) Also, very athletic and involved in sports. (Also, very pathetic and involved with dorks.)

Weaknesses: Chocolate milk. No, I’m not joking – she’s allergic to it but loves it (how can you NOT love chocolate milk?). (For real? She's gonna do that? Some fancy schmancy hemophoric is lactose intolerant? A glass of chocolate milk will bring her down? It's her kryptonite?) Also, very sensitive when it comes to her heritage. (Yeah! Don't hate her because she's awesome!) Because she has good hearing, loud noises frighten her, really hurt her ears, and make her a bit deaf sometimes (like if you suddenly see a really bright light, it takes your eyes some time to adjust). (So Mariah Carey is also her kryptonite?) Deathly afraid of worms. (She gonna be the worm face! But seriously, this chick has no actual weaknesses.) Doesn’t like addicts to hemophorin. (Again, some chocolate milk, loud noises, a handful of fishing bait and some harsh words will make her sweat? Nothing will actually beat her if she's attacked. The sheer power of her Mary Sueness will protect her from everything.)


Worms are very scary and dangerous, mind you. Just so you know. They're slimy and evil and I'm sure they're trying to take over the world. (Aw, damn, she's a cutesy little emo, Kawaii, scifi teenager. I hope she brings up her irrational fear of night crawlers a lot for comedy relief. I really do.)

Writing profiles is very fun. Get a chance to exercise my writing skills, and it's something to do when you've got writer's block. (You know what's also great for writer's block? Obstacles. Sure, you have the whole "afraid to show your identity" thing but beyond that, it doesn't mean crap if that character isn't in any danger of being exposed. Danger is conflict which is a thing stories need. Standing around and being cutesy and untouchable gets old real fast.)

Just like the vampire who hates being a vampire, this chick seeks to straddle both sides of the conflict. Her character has a bubble around her that keeps her away from any real plot development. This story didn't last long but she spent most of it speaking in baby talk to her friend Amelia. The real action centered around the people who actually did want to put their characters on the line, expose them to threats and take some blows. Not skip around and be wonderful.

Cadence, I chose you for your name and you have sorely let me down. The next Cadence I find better have some balls.


PM said...

Players like this are one of the main reasons I don't set up an RP in one of the several settings I've come up with (well, that and the amount of effort it would take to keep up with it, lol).

Freaklin Gout said...

It's true -- Sues will ruin everything.