One day a rancher was standing at the side of the penned up field when a woman walked up to him. "Hi," she said. "I'm Mary Sue and I want to go into this field." He shook his head. "I'm sorry, miss, but you shouldn't do that." Mary Sue's eyes turned from blue to deep green because she was upset. She flipped her glossy auburn over her shoulder and put her hands on her hips. "I am Mary Sue. I will go into that field and brush my horse. She only trusts me and no one else. You will kindly step out of my way and let me into this field" The rancher could only nod and move out of her way. Mary Sue walked into the field and started to call for her horse. She disappeared behind some trees but then quickly came running out with an angry bull chasing her.
"Quick!" The rancher yelled, "Tell him you're Mary Sue!"
Why do Mary Sues wear underwear?
To keep their ankles warm.
What's the mating call of a Mary Sue?
I think I'm drunk!
Mary Sue suspected her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she went out and bought a gun. She went to his apartment and found him in the arms of another woman. Mary Sue was as angry as she was that time vampires killed her parents so she took the gun out of her purse. Shaking with tears, she put the gun to her head. Her boyfriend yelled "No, honey, don't do it." Mary Sue replied "Shut up, you're next!"
How is Mary Sue like a doorknob?
Everyone gets a turn.
Mary Sue was thrilled when her doctor told her she was pregnant. She could derive lots of drama from this by crying all the time and keeping her boyfriend at her side all the time, not to mention the possibility of getting her baby kidnapped all the time. She was about to cheer when a frown crossed her normally sullen face. "What's wrong?" The doctor asked. She held onto his arm and buried her face in his chest and asked, "But is it mine?"
What does a screen door and a Mary Sue with a traumatic past have in common?
The more you bang it, the looser it gets!
Mary Sue was telling a Gary Stu a joke about a guy who was emotionless, carried a lot of awesome swords, knew kung fu, used advanced magic and couldn't remember his past. Halfway through, Gary Stu interrupts her, "Don't you know I'm a Gary Stu?"
"Oh, I'm sorry," Mary Sue apologizes, "Do you want me to start over and talk slower?"