Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Eyes Pick

I was once a part of an rpg where three different Mary Sues were using eyes as avatars. They all ended up in a thread together. I followed it for a while, not because I cared about the thread but I wanted to see who would win the Battle of the Mary Sue Eyeballs.

This practice of using eyes comes about because eyes are the windows to the soul. They express what the author wants you to know about their characters. Also, it's a quick fix if you just can't find the right actress to play your character.

I went to a few avatar sites that had entire sections devoted just to eyeballs, picked a few and posted them here to show you what you can expect if you see these Sues staring back at you.

She's a bad ass bitchiwitch. She has been studying Dark Arts since she was a fetus. She's angry at the world and she lives in a Slytherin-phobic society. She believes she has every right to be as hateful as she is. She thinks there is nobility in her blind hatred. The only joy she gets in life is ruining Ravenclaws, hurting Hufflepuffs, gravely injuring Gryffindors and even slaying fellow Slytherins.

She wants- no, NEEDS to be Draco Malfoy's girlfriend. She hopes one day, if she hangs around him long enough, he will see how she is his perfect mate. She's incomplete without him. She likes what he likes and hates what he hates. She is totally the yin to his yang because she was designed that way.

She's the most vomit-inducing Sparklypoo you could ever meet. She's awesome at everything she does. She's friends with everyone. Everyone wants to be her. She's so caring as a friend, she wishes everyone could be like her even though it would be impossible. She can read your inner-monologue and know how to fix your problem. She even smells good. She sings like an angel. Woodland creatures love her.

She's so nasty, she'll make faces at you. She'll jeer at every move you make. She wants you to feel bad. She's only hiding how deeply pained she is. As much as she wants you to think she hates you, she really needs you to chase her down and teach her how to love again. Even if everything about her screams, "Get away!", what she is really saying is, "Hug me!"

No, she hasn't been stuffed into a freezer. She's ethereal. Her skin glistens because she is not of this world. Her race is mysterious, ancient, eternal and forever. She knows everything because she's seen it all. She transcends Earthly beauty with her azure-ity. Men dig blue chicks.

She's been hurt badly. She's been used, abused, misused, refused and bruised. She cries frequently. Most of the time the reason why is only obvious to her. She's afraid of many things. She needs tons of people around her but not one of them can really help her. She relives her past traumas a lot. Her tears will dampen every story she touches.

She's looking for love and she'll accept anyone or anything. She's the perfect girlfriend. She happens to have a lot in common with your character. Even if she doesn't, she'll do anything you want her to do. She wants to know everything about you. She is your shadow. She's ready and willing to sleep with you. Don't ever let her go. Never. Not ever. She needs you and you have no where to run to.

She's quirky, crazy, sassy, sarcastic, smug and eccentric. She's out there. Sometimes she barks like a dog. She wears tshirts that say snotty things on them. She says she doesn't care what others think of her. She isn't afraid to look foolish which is good because she always does. She finds herself very amusing. She's a danger to herself and others. Don't dare her to stick a pencil in her eye. She'll do it!

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