Friday, April 13, 2007

Pre Mades. The fastest way to kill a club.

I really hate pre made characters. Pre mades occur when the mod has an agenda. They make pre-made characters up so certain plots can can be forced into happening. It's like taking on a role in a murder mystery. If you're Miss Scarlet and you need to know who used the candlestick and where, you have to talk to other player to find get clues but only in the character of Miss Scarlet. Let's all hope you look cute wearing a red, strapless gown.

Some pre mades could be fun for the player but most people surfing through rpgs are looking to create a character for themselves. I think that upfront a mod needs to tell players that they need to take on a pre made or leave the option open but I can guarantee that not many people with that option will take it and like it. It's forced and weird and most authors would rather express themselves and just let stuff happen on it's own.

Here are two pre mades that made me cringe and puke and cry.

Name: Ruth Annie Barrington (Her nickname is Ruthie because she's cute and bubbly. She's from an rpg that's attempting to be like a soap opera.)
Personality: she's very outgoing and friendly, she is also somewhat flirtatious
(She strangles kittens to death in her spare time to remain so damn cute. Balance has to be kept in the universe somewhere, right?)
Status: seriously dating Nik for 4 years (And never once mentioned to him that he spells him name like a girl.)
Job: Ruthie is a waitress at The Phoenix
Activities: Cheerleading, Chorus, Drama, Swim Team, Dance Team, President of the SADD club
(She's just this close to being made president of the "oh so damn cute" club if she's not careful. But wait! If she was, she might have to take uppers to keep up with it all and then she'd develop an addiction and then she'd be like Jessica Spano in that one very special episode of Saved by the Bell. That could be cool.)
Relationship(why in Hawaii): Ruthie grew up in Hawaii, she has lived here her entire life, she loves (Whoa! Let's stop right here and count all uses of the word "love" in the following paragraph and just try to keep your lunch down. That is one.) her family very much, expecially Josh and Lauren, Ruthie is very close to her triplet siblings Josh and Lauren, they do everything together, she is very much in love with Nik and has been for a while, she will do pretty much anything for her family and friends, she is popular at school, and is in the "in crowd", she does alot of activities at school, she loves both her parents the same, she loves animals, she's not that spoiled, she loves living in Hawaii, and like a typical Hawaiian she loves to surf and do the hula, she also loves to shop, and hang out at the mall and the beach, she helps out at home since both her parents are working, she helps care for Miguel, making sure he does his homework, etc..., she has 3 dogs(Sunshine, Princess, Spot), 2 cats named Rascal and Angel, a kitten that she rescued named Lucky, a rabbit named Bunny and a farret named Bandit
(That's six. That's is just way too many loves for one person but look at all the pets!!! I'm onto to something with this strangling idea. She's a Pre-Made Sue who will crush any damn conflict that comes her way. No wonder this club tanked as a soap opera.)

Here's a second rpg character from a high school based rpg. This one is far better thought out which means there's a slimmer chance someone will take her.

Name: Jenna Annalise Edwards
Grade: Senior Age: 17
Appearance: In height, Jenna is fairly average, standing at 5ft7. She has deep brown eyes, and a slightly
olive complexion that gives her a year round tan. Though it is hard to convince Jenna otherwise, she is by no means fat. You wouldn’t even suggest that she was slightly overweight. She perhaps isn’t tone like some girls, or skin and bones like others, but she is a slim girl, at size 6. However, when Jenna looks in the mirror she sees an unattractive gaudy girl looking back, not the beautiful girl that many others see. She hates her hair, hates her body, and hates her face, whereas most would be having trouble to see anything wrong with her.

She looks like Alyssa Milano. That means she's skeletal, her boobs are all over the internet and she has a cooter tattoo! These are all things we need to be aware of when considering she looks like Alysso Milano. Lots of Mary Sue's like to use her image as well but for me it's hard to trust any character that looks like her because all I think when I read her bio is, "Cooter! Cooter! Cooter! Cooter! Cooter! Cooter! Cooter! Cooter! Cooter! Cooter! Cooter! Cooter! Cooter!"

Personality: Jenna lacks the confidence to stand on her own two feet, and has always turned to those around her to lead her through life. Over the last few years, this has been one Stephanie Bryant, and perhaps a worse choice in friend has yet to be found. Jenna shares all of Stephanie’s opinions, and finds it hard to answer questions when she is not around. She lets her do all the talking, and then merely backs up whatever she is saying. She is usually quiet when found on her own, and really only comes out of her shell when under the influence of Steph. It’s hard to tell though which version you see is the real Jenna. (The cooter version!)

History: Jenna has always lived in Ridgefield, and always gone to Richmond High. She has never been a big girl, but she feels that she is, and purges or starves herself to try and keep herself looking thin. She hides this fact very well, and even her parents are completely oblivious to what is going on in their daughter’s life. (They should be asking what's going on with her cooter.)You wouldn’t go so far as to call Jenna a slut, but she has found herself on more than one occasion hung over, and alone, wondering what she had done wrong. Sex isn’t about power for her; it’s about trying to find somebody that will love her. She wants to believe that she is beautiful, and she moves from guy to guy in the hopes that somebody won’t just say that to get her into bed, but will say it the next day, and the next. (She's bony and slutty. Here we are, right back to Alyssa Milano. Why not just make the pre made into Alyssa Milano herself and post a picture of the cooter? It would have made more sense.)
Job: Waitress at Uncle Joe’s on the Pier. (She's a waitress like Ruthie. I see a pattern. I think it means she's wholesome and can think on her feet. Her grits can be kissed.)

Other Information: Jenna’s brother is on steroids, but the family is unaware. She keeps his secret only because he has told her he’ll kill her if she tells. He has something of a temper, and she’s inclined to believe that he could go that far. (This right here is a big problem I have with pre mades. I guess one could play around with this. Cooter Sue could feel all unnerved after talking to him about his big muscles and tiny weiner but then he'll threaten her and she'll puke her brains out. That will be the end of it. Unless the mod allows one sibling to get caught with their addiction, nothing will change and the storyline will burn itself out. There's no longevity here and it will get boring pretty fast. You don't make characters like these and keep them in a holding pattern. Maybe the mod should watch something Alyssa Milano is in and note how conflicts move plots along. Not silence and puking.)

Dislikes: Pretty much whatever Stephanie dislikes. Herself. (Oh! Ow! Burn! Big Mary Sue Burn.)

Pre mades kind of threaten an individuals creativity so they can crush a club. Expecting people to follow your vision won't work unless you have money so expecting people to follow your wishes in a club isn't going to happen. If you're gonna make pre mades, you might as well write yourself a novel with all the ideas and expectatons you have because it won't come true in an rpg.

Now here is a Mary Sue from a Harry Potter club that I'm bringing you because it made me laugh. Here she is establishing how she's better than all the other Mary Sues as she explains how she got elf blood in her veins:

"She has got Elf blood from her father, who was once at Hogwarts. One day, Georgia's father, Daniel was messing about in the school kitchens. He often went there, to tease the elves, and to steal the food. This happened every night, and the elves had no choice but to leave Daniel to it. One night, the elves all grew restless of Daniel stealing the food and teasing them, when an elf just flipped. From being a kind, caring elf, it turned into a monster and grew very angry at Daniel. The last night Daniel went to steal the food, he was bitten by the angry elf, and so, elf passed into Daniel, and stayed there. That is why Georgia is a quarter elf."

So you can turn half elf just as easy you could catch AIDS. Who knew? That's very odd and creepy and makes Christmas seem scarier than ever.

1 comment:

Birdie said...

Haven't you ever heard of were-elves?