Monday, April 23, 2007

Gather 'Round the Big Top!

Ladies and gentlemen, I present, CRAZY SUE from a Harry Potter rpg:

Name: Celesta

Gender: Female. Or so she’s been told. (There's a simple way to check this..... )

Age: 11

Please list your character's three personal desires:
1. To make her mommy and daddy and brother happy.
2. To stop taking the nasty pills mommy says to take. (This is a lovely habit to add to a tween based rpg!)
3. To make the whole world happy because it doesn’t seem to be very happy and it should be because being not happy is bad.

What is your character's main weakness?
She is VERY mental, she is quiet half the time, she can be extremely loud when not quite as she never stops talking. She also has asthma and sleepwalks, which isn't very good if you wake up and find yourself in the great lake... She's narcoleptic, she can be slightly slow at times, as naive as a five year old child if not more so, is weak, unable to protect herself, way too protective of her brother and the rest of her family. (Le grand list of Celesta's medical conditions! ADHD, Asthma, Avoidant personality disorder at times, Can be slightly bi-polar, At times depression, Dyslexia, Kleptomania to a degree, Mania, Narcolepsy, Nightmare disorder, Paranoia, A huge list of phobias, Schizophrenia and Sleepwalking) (Please, just open up a Grey's Anatomy (the book not the show) and point at things. CRAZY SUE will be there too!)

What is your character's main strength?
She is intelligent, even though she is crazy she can STILL GET HER WORK IN ON TIME (Sorry, in joke there...), she is quiet when she needs to be, and is amazingly optimistic when she isn't depressed, VERY protective of her brother and family.The above questions will be used to sort you into the appropriate house. (She's playing for a crowd. Suethors do this but this one is different.)

Celesta has a... Interesting... Look. She usually wears dark colors with strange colored accessories. She usually wears either black jeans or skirts with rainbow colored stripes. Her shirts are usually just plain colored, or have random sayings on them. She also has thick rimmed glasses, and usually paints her fingernails black with white dots on them.Her hair is another story, it is never the natural color (People aren't even sure if it does have a natural color). Currently it is black with the bangs in multiple colors. The hair its self is long and kind of curved up in the back.Her eyes apparently change color with her mood.Her skin is very light from rarely ever going outside, if you catch her in the right mood you could almost think she was a Vampire (I would rather mistake her for Hannibal Lector because she's wearing a mask and a straight jacket and needs to be carried out on wheels.)

Celesta is a kind girl; it’s just she gets… Confused occasionally; every once in a while she just kind of zones out, and follows orders unless they are very outlandish. She will get very annoyed if people call her crazy… After all, she got better… Celesta occasionally likes messing with people by pretending to go even loonier then she is which isn’t a good thing to do when you almost already live in a loony bin. She is actually a smart kid, and thinks far ahead of time, for example, she already knows what he wants to major in in college (If she goes), philosophy. Celesta has quite a few odd tendencies though, sometimes she talks only and riddles, while other times she growls when she is happy. (This Suethor left out STARK RAVING ATTENTION WHORE! It's a good thing I just added it or you'd never know.)

Family background:

Mother: Veronica *Squib*Her mother is a nurse at ‘Rutledge Asylum’, where she deals with lunatics every day, though she has just about an equal amount of lunatic at home. She is constantly self medicated. (Harry Potter is a tween world. Leave the pills out of it.)

Father: Todd *Muggle*Is the head psychiatrist at ‘Rutledge Asylum’, he is a brief man who is rarely ever home, he doesn’t seem to care for his family much, but who can blame him… (Ooh! A social commentery on absentee dads is hidden in here somewhere... )

Twin Brother: Johnny *Squib*He is in one word, insane, there is a more complex description but that involves several words, and several of those words not many people like. To Celesta, he is one of the few people in the world that is sane. Also, just a note, Johnny and Celesta are just fraternal twins, not identical. (Oh! Thanks for clarifying! Otherwise I would have assumed they both own penises.)

My gut feeling is that this is a troll. Possibly a teenage troll who thinks he/she is being witty and who might honestly be upset when their character isn't accepted in the rpg. He/She needs to go smoke a ciggie, bitch about their parents then come back to their computer with a clearer head. Maybe they should go write some blog poetry about weeping geishas or some crap before they wonder why they are never accepted.

Now I bring you the first installment of Unfortunate Typos. Here is one from a different Harry Potter rpg. As a side thing, I've been checking out how school based rpgs handle classes. They are a necessary evil that can make a break a school based rpg. A mod wants kids to interact and know each other in a school setting but that only happens with classes. It's weird to have a school where no one has a class. They just stand around in halls and no true role playing happens. This particular rp actually holds classes and lessons are taught and in some cases, homework is expected. I respect that if someone wants to explore their character that much, they are allowed to do so.

Anyway, I'd like to start a new segment called "Unfortunate Typos!" Welcome!

Here is a typo from a professor who is running a potions class and he's written these instructions on the board:

Stir ten times clockwise, and ten times counter clockwise
Your potion should now be red, green, blue and yellow.
P.S. If it isn't please calm me

1 comment:

Birdie said...

She could have saved herself a lot of time by just writing, "I can do whatever I want whenever I want and it doesn't have to make sense or be consistent with my character because she is CRAAAAAAAAAAAYZY!!! Also goth."