Forks you! See what you've LaPushed me to?

A few days ago I saw the movie "Twilight." That was my first introduction to this series of books by Stephanie Meyers. This movie is currently all I know about the series and, I must say, it's all I need to know. I am utterly disappointed about what vampires have become. Sparkly in sunlight? They go to high school? Some even go around biting the prettiest and poutiest humans so they can join the leagues of pretty and pouting vampires that walk the Earth?

This series is hideous! Every canon character is a damned Sue! They are all good looking and all have some deeply sad background. Can you imagine what the original characters must look like if the canons are this bad?

Imagine no more! Here are some of the Sues I found in only one Twilight rpg. These are all 10 diffent Sues that appeared in only the first page (1 of 9) of an Accepted Character section. Some are long. I guess it's difficult to contain all the tragedy in a few lines.

1. "when angel was five his mom and him were taking a walk through the woods when all of a sudden they were attacked by about 3 wolves. they killed his mom and were about to finish him of when his father arrived and drove them away. he was all heeled up when his father noticed that he was changed. Angel had to move because people were getting a bit suspicious were he used to live."

Full name: Angel Chaos. Orientation: Bi. Looks Like: Alex Evans. Cadence: Not kidding.

2. "Serene's Parents are cold-hearted, and not wanting there own child, sent her away. They put up with Angel for as long as they could. But finally sent her to earth to live with Serene and Serene's Aunt. Angel doesn't know how her parents died, but their memory seems to haunt her."

She's a light angel and her avatar is anime. Does Twilight even have angels? Fuck Twilight if they do. It's worse than I thought.

3. "After her brother's death, several relatives came to watch Felicity while her parents were busy with their work. Particularly, an uncle, who made Felicity so uncomfortable, she would sneak away before he woke up. Because of this, she was beaten and locked into her room. Felicity learned to keep things inside, and now struggles with letting out her emotions."

Appearence (It mocks itself): "Her face usually has an air of mystery about it, as though she is concealing her thoughts and feelings."

4. "When she was 3 was when she first turned into a cat that was when her life and family all fell apart. That night her father out of anger murdered her mother cut her to bits and buried her in the woods. For years after her father brutally abused her After all those years of abuse she became quiet and shy. One day she had enough after he lashed her than had the audacity of talking about her mother in a rude way like she was trash she had enough. She turned into a cheetah and ripped him to shreds throwing them into the ocean once that was taken care of she built a grave marker where her mother’s remains were."

Appearance: Aside from being scarred by her father, "Her eyes are an odd shade of dark purple that are full of care and sometimes a glint of sorrow."

5. "Recently Adenn left home after his family was attacked by a vampire that had hunted them down, the Vampire slaughtered his mother and father, aswell as most of the livestock they kept, Adenn had barely gotten away before he fell victim to the Vampire, though he suffered injuries."

Personality: "Blinded by rage when provoked" I'm losing track of all the dead parents. This is a lesson: Mama's don't let your sons grow up to be Stus by getting yourself killed by a vampire.

6. "Then one day when she was about 7 tragedy struck and it struck hard. She was coming home from school one day noticing her mother wasn't home like usual...instead there were two cop cars in front of the house. She went it kind of scared as she forced her to sit down and they told her the story. Her mother was found sprawled on the ground bloody and beaten on the side of the road. She was the one who had to tell the rest of her family.....Ater that her brother disappeared on her 8th birthday causing her father to sink into a deeper depression. He then turned to drinking and smoking to save him from himself. Her sister was never around so she had to take the beatings.....literally. She still has the scars and bruises from those days. One day her father called her into the living room where he sat with a gun. She felt afraid for her life until she watched her dad shoot himself in the head with his prized .44."

Appearance: "very curvaceous in all of the right spots earning her the title of most hated girl by every girl in the high school" and "back length raven black hair that has different colored streaks in it form one day when she got bored.,her hair is also slightly curly but usually cascades in waves around her face framing it like and angel." Cadence: Currently puking.

7. "Aurora was born into a wealthy family in Forks. Due to unknown reasons, her entire family died when she was young. Local police believe it was a sort of sickness that spread through family genes. The truth, however, was that her family had vampire blood. Back in 1680, Aurora's great great great great (etc) grandmother married a vampire. This blood has branched out over the many generations and Aurora was left with next to none; thankfully."

Appearence: "She's thin towards the anorexic state but not too much. It especially shows on her thin, long legs." It's awesome to have legs like an anorexic! They're so hot!

8. "Not long after Seriyah was born, Dezerah died of blood loss. Jason was devestated, but held on for two more years, signing out mysterious papers before taking his own life."

Appearance: "Seriyah's eyes are a uellow-hazel, although they are often described as gold. Her hair is quite at odds with the rest of her body, but no less beautiful, seeming to fit in with this fair creature. Her long straight hair, from birth, has always been very light blond, nearly white in bright sunlight. Platinum blond. A birth 'defect,' if you will." (Insert blonde joke here.)

9. "I fell unconsious at Dr. Carlisle Cullen's front door. He took me in and the next thing I knew, my eyes were red, and besides that I was the beautiful thing I seen. I thank him to this day for saving my life, and led me down the path of not killing humans. I have never drank human blood before. I only hunt animals."

She's anime, has wings and her name is Stephanie Cullen. Is this Stephanie Meyers doing a little wishful thinking...

10. "Admiranda was conceieved by her human mother, and after her birth she was briefly taken care of by her father for a few weeks. He left her in the care of his sister, placing a small white teddy bear in her arms as she slept. She awoke in a strange house, in the arms of her aunt Cleo, who eventually told her that her father had been killed by the Volturi(he had succeeded in what Edward attempted in New Moon)."

A secret organization kept her hostage and hurt her when she was bad so she's scarred. Her last name is Cadence. I want to cry.

Like I said, this all came from Page 1. There exists 8 more pages just like it in this rpg alone. I fear all Twilight rpgs suffer from this shit and I put full blame on the author, the publishers, the movie makers and all the fangirls who promote this garbage. I'm afraid to look into the wallowing abyss of anymore Twilight rpgs. I probably will, though, because they write my blog for me.

"Stonger than she Sues"

Mary Sues are a hot looking group of ladies. They have the glossiest hair, the sparkliest eyes and the sexiest figures but you know what? They don't appear as awesome as they are. Mary Sues maintain a girlish shape but they often can surprise you with how rugged they turn out to be. You may be thinking, "Hey, that chick's frame is slender so she must be totally harmless. I could menace her if I wanted to and she couldn't stop me." You, my friend, would be wrong. While muscles would take away from her meek and unassuming appearance, be ware. She's "stronger than she looks."

"She is very slender, but stronger than she looks, and upon closer notice you can see the fine network of muscles along her back."

"She’s stronger than she looks and can do the work of a man, she'll prove it too."

"She looks weak and is weak but she is stronger than she looks."

"Silentstar is stronger than she looks and is determined to strengthen her tribe."

"Strengths: Raine is a brave girl and she’s stronger than she looks."

"Rachel is slim, but stronger than she looks, and stands at 5'6"."

"Quick on her paws, stronger than she looks."

"Accurate and powerful archer; definitely stronger than she looks."

"Looks slender, but hard, flat, sinewy muscles under her skin - a LOT stronger than she looks (well, she IS a smith!). Grey eyes."

"Her pinwheels are pretty deadly in battle; she's stronger than she looks!"

"Appearance: She's quite small, only about 4' 6". Slender, but stronger than she looks and very nimble. She has electric blue hair and intense green eyes."

This group of Mary Sues are "stronger then she looks."

"Apperence armor & wepon: tall(6'2'') waist langth bright red hair, slender strong woman(stronger then she looks)/ silver armor/ sword"

"Family-considers Sabrina (my other fc) as her big sistershe is very defensive around her and her friends,is stronger then she looks,is afraid of heights,gets freaked out easily."

"The one other pokemon she has with her is an Abra, female, named Opal who still knows Teleport, though is much stronger then she looks."

"somewhat short and slender but stronger than she looks; looks much younger than she is and is often taken for either young or simple-minded; neither is, in fact, the case."

"Keeps herself in top physical form and is quite athletic. Exercise combined with a great deal of martial arts training means that she's very flexible and can handle some pretty acrobatic maneuvers. Fairly well muscled for a girl her age, she's stronger than she looks but certainly not anything that would put her in the record books."

"'She's definately much stronger than she looks,' he remarked to himself as he tried pushing her off of him. No such luck. 'Oh well, you brought this on yourself...'"

"She may look fragile and soft, but she's stronger than she looks."

"often scowling, not for any particular reason though...she just doesn't smile; stronger than she looks; she wears a lot of red and black, again, not for any reason other than she likes it."

"Spirit History: Kororo is Trey's spirit, she may look pretty small but she's alot stronger then she looks. She integrates into Trey's snowboard and can attack very powerfully from inside it."

"She stronger then she looks but likes to pretend so most of what she puts on is a fake so you could never tell what's real or not."

And this little gal is here because you knew it had to happen:

"She has a fragile look to her but she is stronger then she looks. Ali is naturally busty and curvy in all the right places."

Who the Hell is Alex Evans?

As near as I can tell, he's a dude who likes his picture taken. He is EVERYWHERE in the rpg world. We met him once as Jamie Ray Boyd. Without researching I can tell you he's the perfect emo kid for angsty, young role players. He looks like he is full of woe and needs sex a lot. Chances are that anyone using him as a Play By will cast him as some deeply troubled and abused teen whether he's in an insane asylum, student at Hogwarts or very moody vampire.

But really, who on Earth is he? I am having a devil of a time locating him and why he's famous. As near as I can figure he's a just a model from Canada. That's all. Not a singer or an actor or a skateboarder and any of the things I suspected. Oh! He has an ultra active MySpace page. But somehow, despite not really doing anything except posing for pictures, he's captured all the inner angst of role players all over the internet. He looks like a boy that needs to be taken care of, held close to the bosom and taken to bed a lot.

Why am I so interested in finding him? Like I said, he's all over. I don't think I've seen an rpg in a very long time that doesn't seem to include him in some way. Face Claims all over the Internet are deluged with authors fighting to use him as their play by. (Since this is the first time I'm mentioning these things, a "play by" is the actor or actress used to represent a character and a "face claim" is the general list put out by the rpg admins to show who has claim to what celeb.)

"alex evans - matthew cunning"

"Alex Evans - Acelin & Ashton Pierce"

.

"ALEX EVANS --» phoenix june"

.

"Alex Evans - - Skyler Sommers"

"Oliver Stone {Vampire Clan}

15 Years old [30]

FC: Alex Evans"

,

"Alex Evans Jackson Miller"

"Alex Evans Scorpius Peverell"

.

"Alix Hooke - Alex Evans, Chace Crawford"

"- Alex Evans // Jude Scott"

"^pictures thanks to Alex Evans of DeviantArt"

Some rpgs have started to list him as someone you can't use as a play by any more because he's so damn ubiquitous but that doesn't mean his appeal has diminished. I don't think the interest in him will be disappearing anytime soon. As long as authors believe they are creating an "original" and "unique" emo with various personality disorders, we will have to look at Alex Evans with his swoop style bangs, multiple piercings, deathly pale skin and silly tshirts mugging at cameras. His story lines will be about how vulnerable he is and he just needs the right girl or boy to teach him how to love and trust again. He's damaged yet smart, sad yet strong, troubled yet innocent, rebellious yet meek and emo yet popular. Alex Evans in here to stay all whether we grumble about it or not.

Can't read that? It says:

"Light as a feather

Quick as a fox

whipping about

Strong as an ox

Invisible to us

yet always it's there

calming and damaging

the wind in our hair"

Taking Umbrage with a Harry Potter RPG

You would think that with all my years of role playing and the fact that I run a blog based on teaching fairplay, I would never ever be God modded and powerplayed. Not true at all. It still happens to me all the time and it will probably happen to me again and again and again with the more rpgs I join. It also hurts a whole lot more because I can identify it a lot easier and I feel compelled to stand up for myself every time it happens with varying results.

I recently left an rpg and I want to share this experience with you because in all my years I've never been God modded and powerplayed this bad, this many times and met with this much apathy by any one entire forum. I didn't think it would get as bad as it did because in joining the rpg, everyone had to read through a special list of "No-No Rules" to find the hidden password before being accepted in by staff. These rules were in addition to the normal rules and they specifically outlined God modding and powerplaying. I approved completely of this practice and every rule on that list because each one I have preached on this very blog. I had such high hopes for this rpg and I trusted them completely.

Systematically, each hope was dashed. I would say that maybe two rules from the No-No list were NOT broken against me through out my entire 50 post run in the rpg. Many were mild yet still completely heinous infractions but here is the list of the worst three offenses I had to endure:

1. My character hadn't seen Hogwarts for a very long time. I created a thread where he was looking over his old haunting grounds and he encountered two characters that he didn't know, referring to them as the Gryffindor and the Ravenclaw. I would think it would have been rather obvious that no one would know my guy but the Gryffindor went ahead and proclaimed that he'd known my guy for 7 years and considered my guy to be a regular douche bag he had to "correct" often.

2. My character left the scene because I getting very angry about each violation that seemed to mount in this Gryffindor's presence. I vowed that once my character left the scene, I would have nothing more to do with him again because he just couldn't take a hint. However, after leaving in a very definitive way, the Gryffindor decided to claim that before my guy left, he stepped on my character's toes and then left himself. The Ravenclaw, who was being played by the mod, went ahead and locked the thread and moved it into the archives before I could come in and ask WTF????

3. In a thread that didn't include my presence at all, where I thought I was free and clear of God modding and powerplaying, I was highly pissed to see that it happened again. The Gryffindor and the Ravenclaw, now involved in a romantic relationship, were talking about how they met through the events with my character. The Gryffindor states in one post he hadn't seen my guy since then night, then two posts later, with the aforementioned post still visible on that page, states that my guy had been obsessively stalking his for quite some time and trying to get the better of the Gryffindor but failing every time.

Of course I complained about all of these things every step of the way. I sent many PMs to the mod who was very wishy washy, to the player who said he'd fix his actions or told me to calm down and then to the owner who told me she'd handle it but then I never heard from her again. I went from peaceful reminders, gentle explanations, firm teachings to fully apeshit hoping someone would understand how all of this was utterly unacceptable and I got nothing but giant wall of apathy.

When the immediate threat seemed to be over, I tried to go on role playing but I really wasn't comfortable anymore. I had no solid assurance it wouldn't happen again let alone that anyone really understood why I was upset. It wasn't enough for me to role play with other players because the damage had been done. I started to get suspicious that all this resistance could have been because the Gryffindor was being played by another staff member and everyone was covering for him. I had asked the Gryffindor who else he played because I didn't want to run into him again but he glossed right over answering that so I couldn't ever be sure a character new to mine wasn't him with a different account.

Moral of the Story: If you get God modded and powerplayed and you think you've gone through all the proper channels for fixing this but you're being ignored, don't be afraid to walk away. It's better for your sanity in the grand scheme of things because some rpgs just go through the motions of trying to look sparkly clean when they aren't. If management isn't unified and doesn't have a system in place to deal with rule breakers, don't hold out hope they ever will.