What if God was Mary Sue?

Here, dear readers, are the 13 worst of the worst God moding and powerplaying scenarios I've been a part of. Some are big, some seem small but all pulverize my character into nothing. Every circumstance takes away any shred of joy I had playing my character. God moders, pay attention to this and see the damage you do to others because you're too lazy to write your characters the right way:

Is that a Gun up my Ass...

Okay, my first encounter with it didn't directly happen to me but I was in the scene with the poor girl it did happen to. Let me tell you, as a first encounter with it, I was left scarred for life.

I was playing a guy chatting up a girl at a bar over a pint of lager. All was normal until a Gary Stu dramatically threw himself in the seat next to us at the bar. He was loud and obnoxious and needed to be heard, so much that he went ahead and turned into a wolf just to harrass some NPC barkeep.

Her character made an innocent remark to mine that some of the people in this establishment sure were monsters, weren't they? This is all it took for Gary Stu to get the entrance he wanted. He went right over to her, bent her over, shoved an AK 47 up her ass and started shooting until it came out her mouth! Then he backed off, howled and shouted, "Damn right I'm a monster, bitch! I'm a God damn werewolf!" WTF!

I went to the ooc club to immediately complain about this only to find out the 13 year old player of the this Gary Stu was a mod. Another mod had ever so gently warned him that he may have violated a rule in the club. Gary Stu went on to whine that he was just blowing off steam. He was mad because his science teacher had accused him of stealing stuff from the science lab because he's stolen once before.

Gary Stu promised he'd never God mode again but made no apologies to the girl I was role playing with nor was he going to change what he wrote. It had to stay as it was because this asshole, I can only guess, was mad that he couldn't steal all the school property he needed for his budding meth lab.

I give the girl credit for dealing with this as dignified as she could considering not one mod was going address this issue with any sort of authority. She could only stand back up straight and comment, "Well, that was weird, wasn't it?" The two of us tried to get our conversation back to where it was but seriously, how can you when she was so casually ass raped and pumped full of lead?

What's my Motivation?

In the same club I'd created a character that I loved dearly. She was my very first rpg character so I had a lot of sentimental value placed on her. She existed in the rpg before the character I made in the above topic and she'd been doing just fine until I revealed her character's motivation.

I had her wearing a necklace that was cursed. I found a picture of THE necklace I planned to use and added it to my character's picture section because it was that important to me. The necklace was cursed because once in a while it would cause her to have an evil thought and sometimes she'd even be compelled to act on it.

This was all I had to say. I poured out my character's motivation for all Mary Sues to read. HUGE MISTAKE. My character only had a THOUGHT that was borderline disgruntled when a Mary Sue (also a mod) heard her though from across the room. She ran right over and yanked the necklace from around my character's throat and put it on herself for safe keeping. Her character graciously told me she sensed this necklace evil, it would slowly make my character evil and my character doesn't have to thank hers for saving her from this curse. It was her pleasure.

My character asked for it back explaining it was the only thing she had left to remember her dead mom by. Mary Sue said she was better off with it because she had the powers it took to handle a curse like this while she could sense mine did not and she was doing her a favor. I told her ooc that my character did need the necklace back as it was the source of her ENTIRE MOTIVATION! The mod/Mary Sue said that it would be against her character to just hand back a cursed necklace. So that was that. I just had to deal with losing the entire reason my character even existed because that Mary Sue/mod liked my shiny, pretty necklace.

Defeated, I had to leave my first character behind. I bailed on the rpg and left a lot of people hanging because I was so hurt. If a mod could so casually steal my character's purpose and if other mods could turn their backs while other members were ass raped, how could I stay? I lost my motivation to continue.

When Helping is Hurting

This situation happened twice and they are so similar that I feel I can mention them together. I had two different male characters. The first one was a sorcerer who had lost all his powers and he was trying to survive without them. He was fun to play. His whole perspective had to change or he'd be in huge trouble.

The second guy came into the rpg healing from a major beating he'd recieved. He was in a great deal of pain and suffering with the fact that the beating was his own fault. He actually deserved the stress and doctor visits he was dealing with.

I liked that both of these guys were coming into the rpg below everyone else and had to work towards returning to the men they were. Both were humiliated and trying to restore some sort of security again in their worlds. I find this sort of thing compelling. They were both underdogs trying to come back stronger and better than they were before.

The first guy was given his powers back by a wizard who felt sorry for him. Just like that, the wizard flicked his wrist and my sorcerer had all his powers back like nothing had ever happened. The second guy was cured by a witch who just wanted to bang him. Yeah. She wanted nookie and all his broken bones just kept her from getting boned.

So while each Suethor thought they were helping, they just crushed each character's problem which gave me nothing to do in the rpg at all. I didn't last long in either of these clubs after writing my characters became boring without their obstacles to overcome.

Vin Stu

In my second blog entry for rpghitlist I mentioned this guy who wandered into a Buffy rpg I was a part of. He looked like Vin Diesel, he had a supped up penis car, he killed vampires with missiles and was more testicle than person. He was every bit as fun as you might imagine.

My character in this rpg was a regular guy. No powers, nothing that set him apart, nothing distinguishing about him at all other than Cordelia liked him. She, my character and a few others were hanging out in The Bronze trying to work through a mysterious Buffy-ish plot where some new master was about to arise and we were banding together to stop it. It was fun and we were all sharing the plot nicely.

THEN VIN STU WALKED IN!

I guess my guy didn't measure up in manliness because Vin Stu hogtied him for no particular reason, threw my character into the trunk of his supped up penis car and chose a really bumpy road to drive on. Since Vin Stu was supposed to be the hero to end all heroes, I'm not sure why he decided this would make us all love him. I put my foot down and screamed him out. I was expecting to get thrown out of the rpg for my anger and language but the owner backed me up completely. She yelled at him too and he didn't seem to think it was fair. He moped and said this was his first rpg and we should show mercy because he had no idea what he did was wrong. We didn't. All whiny and castrated, he said we shouldn't treat newbies this way. He came back to The Bronze and tried to pick up the pieces of his lost manhood.

The owner was impressed with the way I stood up for myself and made me a mod. That came in handy during the next God moding circumstance.

When Mummies Attack!

In the same rpg, not a few moments after Vin Stu was spoken to and my character was returned to the very second he left The Bronze like that shit had never happened, we were joined by King Tut Stu. As far as Gary Stu's he actually wasn't horrible. His thing was that he was an Egyptian pharaoh turned vampire and some other Egyptians dudes didn't like this and sent mummies after him a lot. A LOT! They would appear from everywhere, even up from the ground, just to attack.

King Tut Stu came right into The Bronze with mummies at his heels. They came out from everywhere with their little mummy swords trying to kill him. I guess he felt we weren't having any of our own fun before he came along so he was generous enough to share. He started writing mummies that wanted to attack us. He would write that mummies just appeared out of no where and were behind us, in front of us, to the left, to the right, from above and below and we'd only survive if we fought them off!

I made an ooc post finally saying, "Dude, we kind of have a plot going already and we'd like to finish it before fight off mummies." King Tut Stu was shocked to hear we had a plot already and weren't enjoying his but he took it well. The only whine out of him was, "Well, I did say this happened to my character a lot in his bio but I guess I can put the mummies on hold until after."

Vin Stu seemed to feel we were nicer to King Tut Stu than we were to him so he used him as a pissy excuse to leave the club. He took his penis car and drove to L.A. leaving all us losers behind.

Warren vs Mary Sue

Remember how I said I play Warren a lot in rpgs? You know there had to be a God moding episode with him. It happened a lot but this one chick was such a psycho that I regret ever meeting her. She was the mod in a Buffy rpg based on an alternate univers. Buffy never came to Sunnydale, Willow and Xander were vampires and the Master ruled everything. The mod played Amy, the witch, and she was trying to lead a small band of people to stop the Master. I asked her if Warren would fit into this small band since Buffy never came to Sunnydale. Why not? He wasn't evil yet since this was an alternate world. He could start fresh.

The mod loved my idea and not long into the rpg did she decide to make Warren her boytoy. I let this happen because why not? It could have been fun.

Now even though I should have learned by now that you should never tell a Mary Sue your future plans, I didn't. I was talking with Amy's player on IM and I asked her what she would think if I slowly turned my Warren evil. It's in his nature and it would be a great way to churn out some compelling storylines. She said, "Okay. Cool."

I went right away back to the rpg to post for Warren. He was alone at the time and thinking thoughts that were very humble beginnings towards turning into a bad guy. Well, Amy Sue in all her glorified Sueness came running into the room, sobbing hysterically and started beating Warren's chest and screaming, "Don't you dare turn evil on me. Don't you love me? Isn't my love enough to keep you good?"

Up until this poin this Suethor had seemed perfectly rational but since she was a mod, there wasn't much I could do now. I tried to hang onto the rpg by getting away from her and hanging out with Wesley for a while but I knew that eventually I'd have to return to Amy again and I dreaded that so much that I left the rpg.

If Only his Mom had Read him a Bedtime Story...

In another Buffy rpg I played a made up character who was a member of the Watcher's Council. He was bad, about to turn good but he had a long way to go before he got there. The mod and I seemed to friends so I asked her about my idea and she said it was great. She couldn't wait to start it.

I created a full bio for my character and placed him outside Buffy's house to spy on Giles and her character who was his lover and wanted have lots of babies with him. Yes, that should have clued me into her craziness. She was a witch AND an ex-member of the Watcher's Council AND was sent to be Faith's watcher because she had all sorts of mad vampire slaying skills of her own.

She instantly knew my character was outside and had Giles (played by another member who liked being a toadie, I suppose) haul him in painfully. My character was spying because there was a crack in the Watcher's Council and Giles and her character were going to be assassinated and mine wasn't aware of the assassination part but agreed that she and Giles were becoming a problem.

Anyway, she asked me IM if she could read his thoughts and know why he was there. I agreed because I thought she'd take all her knowledge from his bio only. NOPE! She made up shitloads of her own stuff including that he wet the bed until the age of 13 because his mom never loved him. When I asked her IM why she made that stuff up she said that I said she could read his mind so of course she had every right to learn all that stuff. She had no idea why I was pissed at all so I left the rpg. She told the rest of the club she banned me because I was disagreeable and unstable.

Oboe or not Oboe

I know I should really stay out of Buffy rpgs but I'm a junkie. A horrible, terrible junkie.

After the last season of Buffy ended I wanted to create a potential turned slayer for one rpg where all the potentials were being being sent to Sunnydale for training and protection from the Bringers. I created a high school age girl who was so abruptly taken out of her old life and shuffled into her new potentialhood that all she had with her was the stuff she'd packed for school: her backback and her oboe in it's case.

She had been made aware she was a potential by the time she made it to Sunnydale to meet up with Faith. She, Faith and some other potentials were then attacked by a mob vampires and my girl is hitting vampires left and right with her oboe case and holding her own quite well.

And then Faith decided she wanted to have some fun too! Just like when my other character's neckless was stolen, Faith decided to steal the oboe and beat up vampires with it until it broke! Then she had the gall to tell me ooc, "LOL. That was fun. I couldn't resist. This should be a running gag where she always gets a new oboe and it gets broken. Hee! Wouldn't that be funny?"

Actually, no. Not only had she stolen my character's oboe, she's broken it and then went on to decide that I wanted my character to be nothing more than comedy relief. I really didn't. I could have said no but my heart was just so ripped out by this repeat of the situation that led to my first character's death that I tried to put on a brave face and stay in the rpg but I couldn't. That oboe was my creation and it should have been up to me if I wanted Faith to stick it into vampires over and over again.

Ghost Wankerer

I joined an original rpg where I created a male character who was being haunted by a female character. They got along and he was trying to help her get justice for her death and all was great until they met a Gary Stoic who called himself "Traveler." He was one of that awful, mysterious Gary Stoics with amnesia. He had this shit load of power that he wielded like a mystical toddler.

One power was, of course, fucking with my characters. I had my ghost out of my male character's body and trying to locate something on her own. Naturally Traveler could see her, obviously he heard her voice and he even went so far as to touch her because he was just that fucking awesome. I didn't like any of this but I put up with it.

Then his author says he had a wonderful idea for his character, mine and someone elses character. I said okay, but having met this type before, I added that as long as the end result wasn't my characters being altered in any way than I was up for it.

He never actually said that his goal was to fuck me over but I could tell by his whining, his insantance that I just trust him and my characters would be better than before that I'd wrecked his plans to take my motivations away from me. Oh well. Tough shit. I like my characters struggling.

I'm guessing he left our story because I'd foiled him. I refuse to be God moded by a Gary Stoic.

My Secret is Between You, Me and EVERYONE ELSE so don't tell anyone!

I spent a ton of time in a Harry Potter rpg last year which why the next three God moding situations all come from there. Yes, I stuck with this one as long as I could stand to and it gave me nothing but anger to show for it.

I made a character who was an 11 year old Slytherin boy and while he was rich and was learning magic, he was a kleptomaniac. He was so embarrassed about this that he feared being found out. I should have known better than to announce this in my character's bio but I thought I could trust this group not to misuse this knowledge. BOY, WAS I WRONG!

I could instantly tell who all the Mary Sues were because they watched their possessions around him and knew he was untrustworthy before they even got to know him. Others still thought this made him sort of attractive and they threw themselves at him. The common thread was that EVERYONE KNEW HIS SECRET! They all seemed to maintain their character would certainly know this stuff what with all the mad skills they had in Dark Arts and knowing secret stuff was just one of those things they could do.

I fought with one Mary Sue about this because she was the first to outright claim she pitied him and his little "problem." I told her ooc that there's no way she could know. He hadn't told anyone. She said she was sure he had and she wasn't sure which post it was in but she did. In a forum where one can check back through every post they ever made in the forum, that is a really dumb thing to claim but what could I have expected from a character who was 11 and had three animagus forms?

There was an incident where she caught him with a bracelet that wasn't his and they were in front of a Gryffindor so she whispered to my character, "We'll talk about this later." I seriously believe she imagined these two had an 'offscreen' scene where he confessed everything, wept profusely in her arms and felt better and stronger to have such a great, supportive, perfect gal in his corner.

I stayed away from her for the rest of the time I was in this rpg.

Outsmarted, Outwitted, and Outplayed

That same character from the above situation liked to fight with others a lot. As if it wasn't bad enough that everyone knew his secret, I couldn't even enjoy a simply role play fight with anyone.

On two occasions with two seperate Gary Stus, I thought we had all agreed that their characters and mine would often have verbal fights out in public. Most of the time these were lots of fun. Coming up with names to call them and twisting their character's words to make them look like ninnies was great! They told me they were having fun with these fights too even though all they really ever offered was, "You're a loser. You're dumb. You're not worth my time. You ought to shut your mouth."

I worked with their sad little barbs at my character and made then really great threads in my mind but then each Gary Stu did something that annoyed me. Both claimed outloud that had outsmarted me, outwitted me, made me look like an arse, and made everything think I was a fool. Wha?

Yeah. I call that God moding. Believe it or not, I was pissed. They had just claimed that calling my character an idiot was the thing that won the argument? Deciding what everyone else thought of my character was okay? It really isn't. It's just the sign of a weak role player to me.

Mind Plucking

Here is the incident that broke me. This is the one that made me leave the club and it involved a different character. I was playing the new Divination teacher.

Remember Britnay? She's the chick with that silly, ass banner that reads, "Dose is look like I care?" and her avatar looks like Michelle Trachtenburg? She was the best textbook example of a bitchiwitch that I've ever seen. Her overall goal for the rpg that the mods seem to not find a problem was for her character to know everyone elses secrets and expose them. Yeah, she knew all about my character so I was keeping him away from her to save myself lots of heartache.

Anyway, Britnay was in my Divination class and starts to cast spells on other students. THIS TIME her victims were willing but usually she didn't feel the need to ask if she could fuck with others. As Divination teacher I HAD to do something or else my teacher looks like a powerless moron twiddling her thumbs in front of the class.

My character called Britnay up to the front of the class. Britnay refused because she's a broody, moody Slytherin with a bad childhood and no respect for authority. Knowing she was a Mary Sue I decided to try and hit her in her weak spot. I purposely didn't say this outloud but I had my character think hers was a coward. She was afraid to come up in front of the class. Surely this Mary Sue would continue this theme of wanting to be seen as a badass and come up to the front to prove me wrong.

NOPE! She stayed in her seat and informed me that she was not afraid nor was she a coward. I told her ooc that she just plucked the very words out of my character's mind like a mind reader and that was God moding. She got mad and said it wasn't God moding because if she was mind reading she would have used the words 'mind reading' and she didn't, it's not and I need to let it go. I didn't. I went to the mods who told her otherwise and now I was on her shitlist but she didn't have to worry. I didn't need some asslick Mary Sue hanging over me like an albatross. Between her and the rest of the immature brats, I was sick of the mind reading Hogwarts students and I took my leave.

The Shirt off my Back

Freaklin Gout and Foutine were around for this final God moding incident. They can attest to how sick it was. It happened in my rpg to a character I was playing under a different handle so I can only imagine this Gary Stu didn't realize he was fucking with the owner of the club.

This Gary Stu is a bounty hunter with a curse. When he looks into another character's eyes they sometimes fall in love with him. I mentioned to him that it might be funny if my male character sometimes fell under this spell and had passing thoughts that totally skeeved him out. Gary Stu thought this would be funny but it was so far from funny as he decided to ad lib.

He looked right into my character's eyes and told him to take off his shirt. I laughed and decided my character would think about it but not actually go ahead and do it. That wasn't good enough so Gary Stu waved his hand and my character's shirt and hoodie were just ripped right the hell off his body! I was so mad that I told him through an email that I didn't like that and he needs to rewrite his post. He told me to leave it as it and in his next reply he'd fix it so it wasn't so awkward. Luckily Freaklin Gout was there to talk me out of letting this shit continue. I emailed Gary Stu and told him to tell me what he wanted to do before I agreed blindly to it. He said he'd use his mysterious magic to make all this a fake out vision in my character's head. I said no. It's still God moding to put thoughts into someone else's head. Grudgingly, he changed his post BUT then tried to use mind control on another character to get her to get mine to take his hoodie off. I told him no, forget about it and now I'm trying to get my character away from his for good. At least he's getting his jollies denuding other people who aren't standing up to him.

In Conclusion

Thanks for bearing with me and my long ass post. I'm hoping that I've taught you all, dear readers, how to stop this shit from happening to you or show you how to bail out when things look bad and not to feel guilty about it.

God moding is vile and we must all do what we can to put an end to it.