Saturday, February 23, 2008

Silly Ass Banners Part 2

Draco Malfoy and the Harem of Sues

Yes, as Eddie Izzard and I have been saying all along, everyone loves a bastard. I was going to make this series of Silly Ass Banners about the whole "Harry Potter" genre but I was disturbed with all the Draco pairings I found. Sues just can't help themselves. They want to fix Draco and the only way to do that is through the purest love that only a Sue can give.

I admit, these banners are from fanfictions. I'm still showing them here because fanfictions and role playing games go hand in hand. Mary Sues infect both worlds and I find the ones who dabble in both to be particularly vile because they plug their fanfics in rpgs. If you are a Mary Sue and you are reading this please consider that if you act like an ass in the same rpg I am in, I won't be checking out your assy fanfic.

You may have some trouble reading these banners because I shrunk them down. These suckers are HUGE and I won't give these Sues the satisfaction of ruining my blog by stretching it out.

Born to hate each other yet destined to snog. Tori is a tough chick from the wrong side of the tracks. He's a spoiled rich kid. Will her sarcasm and humping win him over in time for the Yule Ball? I'm all a twitter!!!11!!!
Why would Draco ever take the bus? I suppose he must have been down on his luck, the poor git. He has troubles a only Mary Sue could soothe so maybe she'll have to go down on him... you know... to ease his pain.

If Michelle Skankenburg and that Highschool Musical kid can't help Draco, who else can? That bit below Draco reads: "Awesomely amazing story written by the awesomely amazing: JustLikeTheRain". I wonder what she is trying to tell us about herself.

Her purple sparklies outnumber his green sparklies. He doesn't stand a chance against her Sparklypoo charms.

"A Collison with Hope." Yes, our Mary Sue is named Hope and she assures us this is magnificently written. Let me tell you about how the 'collison' will work. Draco is gonna bang that bitch with Hope of banging her again.

I don't know what could be worse than reading about Draco Malfoy and some purple eyed, diaper wearing Kawaii ho.

And here is what could be worse: Draco is now reduced to a femmie, Kawaii asshole.

Be grateful for one thing, dear readers. I kept his harem to chicks only. You could have been looking at Draco being paired with Harry, Ron, Snape, Dumbledore or that Highschool Musical kid.

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