She'll Graduate Magna Cum Sue

This Sue is from an rpg about an Academy for vampires. I've seen many vampire schools but I will never get the idea behind it. I guess they can spend time learning practical things like math and science but when you've seen as many vampires in schools (or just any rpg set in a school) as I have, it's clear you can't teach them anything. They are all super smart and skilled in everything BEFORE they even enter the school.

Vampire.
Name-Lyric Blossom Angel (Oh Hell. Hell no. No way. Way. She has SUCH a Mary Sue name and we just started.)

Sex-Female
Age-16 (You know what? She's a vampire who looks 16 and actually is 16. If she's physically aging but will live forever, she's gonna spend most of her existence looking scary!)
Power-Lyric can controle fire in a stunging way.She still has a little problem useing it but other than that she is very good. (Her stunging abilities are not great but still great but her waffling skills will astound you!)

Weapon:Bow and Arrow (I wish this bio had included info on why she needs these weapons and what she uses them for. Her background history isn't specific on this fact. I guess she just needs something else to be awesome at and this rounds out her many gifts.)

Bio-Lyric was always alone as a child she was born as a pure blood vampire.At times she hates being a vampire cause everyone dosent like her not even her own vampire parents. (Her parents don't even like her because she's a vampire?) At the age of 10 she fanily left to go live on her own and she has been doing great.Well then she found cross Academy and told the Cair man she was a vampire he was very pleased to have her here.He gave her little pills that go in water and gives the taste of blood but she wish it was real blood. She moved into her drom room and has live there for 6 years. (It's so sweet that despite all her tragedies, this vampire is able to land on her feet. She narrowly avoided being a trailer trash vampire.)

Personality-Lyric is a loner and dosent talk much.She not shy she just dosent always like to deal with people she rather be alone but when it comes to a fight she is all in it and wont back down till she wins. (If she speaks as well as she communicates here, no wonder she chooses not to. Perhaps she gets into fights because so many people ask her what stunging is.) She can be bossy at times. (But she doesn't talk much???? How can she be bossy and shy all at once????? DOES NOT COMPUTE!) During class she awlays stands by the window looking at the moon. (I have a feeling that at this school, most of the students are depressed and like to stare out the window.) When she is in a serious mood you better back off or she will snap at you if you do somthing wrong. (But she's shy. Except for the times she's bossy or in a bad mood.)

Looks- (See the scared, anime child with the submissive pose and runny mascara.)
Blood type-pure blood. (Did she mention that?)

Addition to the Unfortunate Typo Files: This guy was afraid of how people would view his rpg about different ethnic gangs fighting over a city:

"To all those who called me "Raciest": You forget that I am a fan of JAPANESE CARTOONS and LISTEN TO THE BLUES."

Speak little and be a Mary Sue....

No one will ever be able to convince me there's a good reason for making character so painfully shy that they speak very little or not at all. For one thing, this makes it hard for characters to communicate if the character sticks strongly to this trait. Everything must be one sided and, believe it or not, that leaves the silent character in control of the scene.

But more than that, these characters need to be taken care of. They need to be babied and protected not only because they don't speak but also because the reason they don't speak probably has something to do with some major tragedy. Poor, wittle Sue was tormented into silence.

At least these Mary Sues spare us the witty banter.

"She doesn't speak much, however if she does she usually delivers some kind of information that is relevant to the situation at hand."

"Personality: Well... she doesn’t speak too much. She’s ashamed of her voice and goes to great lengths to keep from talking, even as far as learning a bit of sign language and carrying a notepad around wherever she goes so she can write down the things she wants to say to people. "

"Personality: Alice is a shy person. She doesn't speak often and keeps to herself. She doesn't like to be around many people, andwsometimes wishes that she wasn't born."

"She has pale skin, and she doesn't like to be touched by anyone but her adopted mother, Kaitlyn. She doesn't speak much, although when spoken to, her voice is like a song by itself. She's been told she was unbelievably gorgeous, although at times she is disgusted with herself."

"Personality :: Naomi is very quiet. She doesn't speak much unless absolutely needed."

"She is, indeed, a good girl and does as she is told. She doesn't speak much, but when she speaks, it's worth listening to."

"Personality: Nindeth is rather quiet, she doesn't speak easily to people she doesn't know well. Only those with patience and kindness can truly learn to know her. She is calm and collected, always thinks before she acts."

"She doesn't speak much, but is full of wisdom and skill in all areas."

"Miu is such a quiet girl. She doesn't speak very much and is basically shy. She doesn't like to be in crowds or be the center of attention. She even gets uncomfortable when just one person is looking at her."

Don't let being mute fool you. She's still wise beyond her years, terribly gorgeous and skilled at everything.

"Personality: Aiko is an extremely shy girl, and being mute doesn't help her with social skills (not many people know the mute language), she can be seen as an anti-social kid, but, the truth is, she's just most of the time ignored."

"Manfred bowed his head down low, but he was kicking himself on the insides. "Duh huh Manfred! She's mute you moron!" he thought to himself. He didn't really know what to say, he felt sorry for her but didn't want to bug her about it."

"Boi: Layanna is a rather strange girl. She's mute, but can understand others fine. Also she can't hold much energy herself, so she dances to summon enough energy for her spells."

"One of her ears is shredded from a fight with a dog, and she's mute, but has found a way to communicate through her sister, Still. Heavily pregnant, but her mate was killed, so looking for another one."

"Name: Shizuka/ Which means quiet in japanese
Specal: She's mute... That means she cant talk"

"A few moments of silent finger-talk later, the incident is forgotten. Sirco is a mute. At the start, it was hard to communicate, but by using basic gestures and translating it in written form, both Roland and Shuffle now knew enough to communicate with their "sister"."

"Stand-offish at first, Rosuto is a quick obeserver; picking up everything that a normal person would miss. Quick, soft-spoken for when she does speak, but most of the time she's mute; Rosuto seems to have a soft spot for the hard-luck cases."

"Phyre is a thief, born and raised on the streets of Firelle, due to the unexplained death of her parents when she was just three years old. Now she is nineteen years old and a little over five feet tall with long red hair and green eyes. Normally, however, her hair is tied in a bun to keep it out of her way, especially while working. She's mute and has a dragon symbol tattooed on her tongue."

"Mistkit is a silent kit, of course, and prefers to stay to herself most of the time, stuck in her 'obsessive shell' of things. Nonetheless, she is a very, very hyper and playful kit, and wants to prove to herself and ShadowClan that just because she's mute, does not mean she has no destiny or cannot be a Warrior."

And, because it had to happen:

"Other:She's mute,and a very good computer hacker.She's also a neko."

Leggo That Neko!

Just when you thought Kawaii couldn't get any weirder, here I am to bring you more proof of what's wrong with it. Here are some more terms you need to know about anime:

Neko - Not a candy

Cat ears. We've all laughed at rpg characters with them but what is the story? Why are there so many cat boys and cat girls sneaking into every aspect of rpg culture? The term for this is 'neko' which means 'cat' in Japanese. I suppose there could be many really good reasons why neko isn't creepy but I'm not buying any of them.

Supposedly it has nothing to do with being a furry. I haven't found anything that solidly defines the distinction between having cat ears not being a furry. It seems, just having cat ears, purring and licking oneself is not at all like a furry even though furries have been known to have cat's ears, purr and lick themselves. Not at all similar though. Stop being confused!

There is a feeling that having cat ears shows one's virginity and innocence. Usually characters with cat ears are very childish or cute. Kawaii is all about being cute and child-like but that doesn't at all explain the sexpot neko characters with giant breasts, guns on each hip and sultry, sleek cat ears. These characters with feline traits are mysterious and slinky. Perhaps they are the natural evolution of little kitten-human babies all grown up and ready for some pouncing.

Cat eared people, being like cats, may have attributes such as being seductive, patient, graceful, sly, agile, stealthy and dangerous when the claws come out. Since many cultures revere cats, these wanna-bes often have supernatural powers such as superhuman strength, psychic abilities and many lives to fall back on. What more could a Mary Sue want?

Chibi!

Do not confuse chibi with neko even though the two can occur at the same time. 'Chibi' means "small child" or "short person." This is a supercute form of a grown character. This would be the child version of an adult that appears for no obvious reason other than to wring out the cuteness until there is no more. An rpg with a chibi theme might have one or all of the normal grown characters (sometimes canons) appearing as babies.

How cute would it be to fully analyze a diaper fetish? Wheeee! Harry Potter may have a diaper rash and Little Hermione might have to pull off his diaper and rub ointment all over his wittle, baby bottom. Seriously, children are not off limits sexually when it comes to chibi. All you need to do is slap some fake cat ears on that baby and start masturbating.

SD Does Not Mean "Scary, Deeply" But Should

Super Deformed, or SD, refers to the way a character is changed to make them look younger or cuter. This would be the giant soccer ball eyes and the huge, lolling head that couldn't possibly be supported by the neck it's attached to. This type of thing makes banner and avatar artists go all squee when they get to make deformed, anime babies for themselves and other players.

Explanations

I don't have any. I haven't seen the decent side to any of this. In every circumstance where I've come aross neko, chibi or Super Deformation, it's all about children and sex. There is nothing cute about any of this. I'll read any opposing arguments that anybody has but it will take a lot for me to not be completely yucked out by it all.

Dancing with the Mary Sues

We already know she's stronger than she looks but how does she look? Besides the curves, the stunning eyes and the flowing tresses, what does she have left? Legs? Thighs? Arms? Butt? Belly? How do these things all fit together on a Mary Sue's beautiful body? What body does that leave her? With the body of a dancer. Or a dancer's body if you're nitpicky.

"Most say she has the body of a dancer, with long agile legs, small chest and graceful features. She moves with a feline grace."

"She has the body of a dancer, and moves like one, with muscles strong but unseen beneath her pale flesh."

"She has the body of a dancer. Her normal dress is either loose flowing skirts that are easy to move in and peasant tops or soft leather pants and a peasant top."

"She has long, thick blonde hair she prefers to wear loose and straight, and bright blue eyes. Standing at 5’7", she has the body of a dancer: soft curves, skinny legs, and a long neck."

"Description: Eli’s hair about waist length and is always gets blown in the wind; she is tall and beautiful, and she has the body of a dancer."

"Skin is pale...but not as pale as her families. You can tell she's been out in the sun for a while. She's got the body of a dancer: lithe and with long legs. She stands at 5'9"."

"She holds her self with dignaty and grace... most of the time. She has the body of a dancer, very will toned all over and slender. Portrayed by: Miley Cyrus/Hannah Montana."

"Inside was a young woman, probably Orpheus’s age or a bit younger, long black hair that looked to be her natural color rather they dyed and a slim and slender body of a dancer."

"Sylvana is physically tall and slender, with what some might call the body of a dancer. Though she is fit, its quite difficult to tell, and therefore others are often misled to think that she is of average fitness, when she is closer to that of an athlete, not a professional one though."

"Physical Attributes: She is small and petite. She is very attractive and has the lean, curvy body of a dancer."

"Elspeth is tall and slender; the body of a dancer. She has long brown hair, and has pale, freckle-less skin. She has large, very dark brown eyes that always seem to be searching for something. She has full lips, and a thin nose. She speaks with an American accent."

"She is wonderfully beautiful, with the body of a dancer and skin that is absolutely flawless."

"He has the body of a dancer, tall, lean and muscular, Muscles are very well defined because of his lack of body fat."

"At 16 years old, Kelsie was the object of affection to nearly every man in her class, including teachers. The body of a dancer and the personality to match it."

"Sloan stands at about 5'5, has the body of a dancer and the face of an angel..and she certainly knows how to work all of that into her own little manipulating package. She has a set of big brown eyes that can bring a man to his knees just by her fluttering her eyelashes and a smile that could stop traffic from blocks away."

"Alexa is shorter than most people, but she has a dancer's body: compact, lithe, and beautiful. Her emerald green eyes flash with anger or sparkle with happiness, and her intricately braided long red hair swirls and sways with her movements."

"Appearance: She has a very feminine, curvy figure with an exotic accent, though she has a dancer's body."

What does Harry Potter think of this Mary Sue? He doesn't have to decide. She'll tell him.

"When she thought she was just another just another muggle she did ballet and she has the body of a dancer. She is skinny weighing in at an even 100 pounds but she is rather small only about 5’0" in height (Therefore making her as Harry puts it "Exceptionally good at dodging bludgers)."